Why do the skanks always ruin things for everyone else? Very soon all employees at our Wal-mart will be required to wear new store-issued t-shirts in addition to our blue vests. Apparently there were too many cleavage related complaints from customers. I don't really blame the skanks. They don't know any better; most of them grew up in Spryfield. I do blame the people who complained. You have to expect a certain level of trashiness when you walk into a Wal-mart. If you're all fancy and super high-class, you should shop at Sears.
Because my job isn't intellectually challenging, I try to make it physically challenging. If there's an opportunity to run, I do. Instead of picking things up like a normal person, I do squats. Unfortunately my cheap dress pants were not meant to withstand the punishment I put them through at work and one hour into an eight hour shift today, I squatted to pick something up and heard a comically loud ripping sound. I wasn't too surprised; it wasn't the first time something I thought only happened in cartoons happened at Wal-mart. I checked out the damage in a mirror. There was a huge split in my pants, but it wasn't too noticeable if I stood up completely straight, which I attempted to do for the remainder of my shift. I still had to keep the sales floor tidy which I managed by doing a graceful sideways dip and swiping at fallen merchandise with a clothes hanger. I survive another day. It was a bit drafty walking home.
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Monday, April 07, 2008
Worst Student Ever
Early Monday morning classes are killing me. My internal clock is so messed up I never have any idea what time it is. Last night I went to set my alarm for 6am and discovered it was already 6:17am. I was actually running late. So instead of sleeping (one of my favorite things), I went to class (not even in my top 10).
Our morning class ended up being cancelled. We were all already at school so the losers went to the the library to work on assignments and everyone else went to the pub down the road. We arrived at our afternoon class (Records Management) at 4:30 drunk and all hyped up from an afternoon of cheesecake and gossip which our teacher interpreted as unprecedented enthusiasm in her presentation on microfiche.
I've been in Records Management class for an entire year now and I'm still not really sure what it is. Last year we toured libraries around the city. This year we're touring records management facilities. This month's tour is scheduled for Iron Mountain, the mother of all records management facilities. If you love files and boxes of paper, this would be the place for you. It was shaping up to be our most boring tour yet until the teacher told us that because of all the heavy lifting required, most of the employees were muscular young men. This was met by wild cheers from the predominately female/gay male twentysomething class. Because of the grated floors throughout the building, we were advised not to wear skirts or high heels, but I know of a few people in my class who won't be able to help themselves.
Our morning class ended up being cancelled. We were all already at school so the losers went to the the library to work on assignments and everyone else went to the pub down the road. We arrived at our afternoon class (Records Management) at 4:30 drunk and all hyped up from an afternoon of cheesecake and gossip which our teacher interpreted as unprecedented enthusiasm in her presentation on microfiche.
I've been in Records Management class for an entire year now and I'm still not really sure what it is. Last year we toured libraries around the city. This year we're touring records management facilities. This month's tour is scheduled for Iron Mountain, the mother of all records management facilities. If you love files and boxes of paper, this would be the place for you. It was shaping up to be our most boring tour yet until the teacher told us that because of all the heavy lifting required, most of the employees were muscular young men. This was met by wild cheers from the predominately female/gay male twentysomething class. Because of the grated floors throughout the building, we were advised not to wear skirts or high heels, but I know of a few people in my class who won't be able to help themselves.
Friday, April 04, 2008
Spring has Sprung
It's actually kind of warm in Halifax today. Hopefully we've seen the last of what has been the longest winter in history.
Only two weeks left of school. These will be especially bad weeks because I haven't done much work all year. Will I fail community college? It's still a possibility at this point. Graduation is June 18. I will post pictures if I actually manage to pull this off. I'm not sure yet where I'll be doing my May work term but it better be somewhere awesome. I'll keep my day job though. Speaking of Wal-Mart, guess which one of the following things happened to me last Saturday:
a) got yelled at by a woman with a beard because we didn't have any plain black t-shirts that she liked
b) found out there is a hidden security camera in the locker room where I have often changed my clothes
c) had to do the work of two people because the only woman working with me took some ecstasy, claimed not to be able to tell colors apart, and took off somewhere with her cousin who had just been released from prison earlier that day.
Don't bother guessing. Of course, they all happened.
On a brighter note, I'm going on the family vacation this year! We're leaving the day after I finish classes. I wanted to go last year when they went to Florida, and the year before when they went to South Carolina but it just never worked out. This year when I finally get to go, we're going to Kitty Hawk, North Carolina. There are no palm trees in North Carolina. I checked.
No matter; I'm just happy to be going anywhere. North Carolina at least promises to be a few degrees warmer than here and to provide some new scenery. I haven't been out of Nova Scotia since I got back from England two and half years ago.
One of the best parts of vacation is looking forward to going and the planning and the packing, but I'm not going to have time to enjoy any of that. I'll be lucky if I can get a load of laundry done so I actually have something to pack. And knowing me, I'll probably still be trying to hand in late assignments on the way to the airport.
My blog will likely continue to be neglected for some time.
Only two weeks left of school. These will be especially bad weeks because I haven't done much work all year. Will I fail community college? It's still a possibility at this point. Graduation is June 18. I will post pictures if I actually manage to pull this off. I'm not sure yet where I'll be doing my May work term but it better be somewhere awesome. I'll keep my day job though. Speaking of Wal-Mart, guess which one of the following things happened to me last Saturday:
a) got yelled at by a woman with a beard because we didn't have any plain black t-shirts that she liked
b) found out there is a hidden security camera in the locker room where I have often changed my clothes
c) had to do the work of two people because the only woman working with me took some ecstasy, claimed not to be able to tell colors apart, and took off somewhere with her cousin who had just been released from prison earlier that day.
Don't bother guessing. Of course, they all happened.
On a brighter note, I'm going on the family vacation this year! We're leaving the day after I finish classes. I wanted to go last year when they went to Florida, and the year before when they went to South Carolina but it just never worked out. This year when I finally get to go, we're going to Kitty Hawk, North Carolina. There are no palm trees in North Carolina. I checked.
No matter; I'm just happy to be going anywhere. North Carolina at least promises to be a few degrees warmer than here and to provide some new scenery. I haven't been out of Nova Scotia since I got back from England two and half years ago.
One of the best parts of vacation is looking forward to going and the planning and the packing, but I'm not going to have time to enjoy any of that. I'll be lucky if I can get a load of laundry done so I actually have something to pack. And knowing me, I'll probably still be trying to hand in late assignments on the way to the airport.
My blog will likely continue to be neglected for some time.
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